Have you ever been PUMPed up about making things happen in your life, only to have your balloon deflated by an unsupportive loved one, friend, co-worker, or even someone you barely know?
I have been asking my clients to do three things when they start a program with me.
and go about it quietly.
I do not care how excited you are, do not let your excitement spill over into a facebook update. There is no need to make an announcement about your newest venture. Nor is everybody entitled to an explanation surrounding your new behaviours.
Rather I would ask you to guard your heart and this decision closely.
Real change is a very private affair. When you truly decide to go about making a change it needs to be set apart, it needs to hold a position of honor. It is an agreement that you have made for yourself, to better yourself and only certain people are deserving of an invitation to walk along side you. I will give you a hint, it’s the supportive ones that get to come.
For me real change has always be prompted in my conversation with God. I have asked for freedom from something that is holding me back and God has opened my eye’s to see it; Given me the confidence to face it and the discipline to stick with it; As well as the reminders to come back to it when I have walked away from it.
I must honor and prioritizes the source of my revelation.
That means I do not need to explain myself, my agreement has been made with my maker and that is good enough for me.
What does this look like in real life? It means when I am out to lunch with friends and I pass on the bread bowl I do not need to explain why or announce I am doing so. When I decided attending my regular scheduled class at the gym is more important than an impromptu invite to a social engagement a simple “I can’t make it” will do.
People are going to notice your efforts. They Will ask questions. When they ask talk about what you ARE doing, what you ARE eating. You do not need to mention what you are NOT doing, what you are AVOIDING.
For example, tell them how you are keeping hydrated and drinking lots of water. Do not tell them about how you have given up your wine for the month.
Sometimes your new venture can be something that convicts the people around you. It is something they want to do to but they are still in the “looking for a way out” phase. If they can poke holes in your plans it means they can remain safe in their current comfort zones. Sadly some people will hope that you fail. WHY? It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If you fail it means staying where they are comfortable was a good decision on their part. However, if you succeed they are left out, left behind, as you move forward. Studies show time and time again we are most like those we surround ourselves with and if you are looking to harness some change in your life it means some people will get left behind in that “area” of your life. They no longer have access to the areas you have set apart.
As you step out to make CHANGE in your life you will quickly be able to decipher who has come with a FRESH AIR supply to help fill you with excitement and who is holding a pin ready to pop your balloon. As soon as you discern those “against” your plan consider the conversation over. I do not mean be rude, stop talking, and give them the silent treatment. It is simple, change the conversation. “Enough about that, did you see the weather we are in store for this weekend?” Make a mental note. I will work patiently, I will work persistently, and as I go about it quietly my RESULTS and the CHANGE in me will SPEAK VOLUMES for me. Those that keep pressing you to announce and explain yourself will slowly lose access to you, they will eventually learn the conversation is OFF topic if they do not have anything positive to say.
The funniest things often happens when you dedicate yourself to this process.
You get results.
When someone asks you what you have been doing, although you are so acutely aware of how hard you have worked, you quietly respond, “Oh I have change the way I do some things.” Sometimes even the most unsupportive people will approach you sincerely and ask you how you did it. Right there in that moment you will receive your greatest reward, you get to INSPIRE someone else to do what you did. Work patiently, work persistently, and go about it quietly and let your transformation do the talking.
Keep at it friends, your victory is waiting.