Monthly Archives: August 2021

Stuck with the miserable grocery store basket?


Have you ever gone to the grocery store that requires a “coin” to unlock a shopping cart and found yourself emptying your pockets and realizing you had no coins on you? You suddenly have to decide what kinda of grocery shop this is going to amount to.

Do I just grab one of those baskets I can lug a limited haul around with?

Or do I go back and search under the car seats for some long lost coins?

Maybe you raid the stowed away carts to see if one was never securely locked in the first place?

Or do you head on over to customers service to see if you can get a “loaner” coin of some sort?

So many options. I do not know about you but 9 times out of 10 I am in a “hurry” and I just reluctantly grab a basket and make do.

It is a miserable experience especially if something heavy and awkward is on sale and now your find yourself farmer walking not 1 but 2  (because you had to go back for a 2nd) full heavy baskets around the store. It becomes a workout – where you have to rest between aisles – there you are dropping the baskets to the floor and rolling your head around to relieve the neck strain and with a quick shake of the forearms you hope for some improved blood flow so you can make a go at a secure grip on the baskets again.  Then you get all the way to the check out and get the dreaded last minute “buzz” on your phone – a text – “hey can you pick up some sparkling water too” – WHAT?!? Why could you not need marshmallows or something? Sparkling water ? Really? Nope, can’t, reached a limit, no more room, can’t go back, will have to do that another time.

I decided awhile ago – even though it was not as convenient – it actually was not a big deal and a momentary decision to just make the trek to customer service and buy one of those key chain coins or ask for a loner was more than worth it and would save me the misery and grief and if I got a simple text request with a grocery cart at hand it would not put me over the edge.

How frequently do we do this in life? We show up to circumstances and experiences unprepared  or lacking something and in our moment of lack we decide to just make a haphazard go of it? The hours collide into each other, days turn to weeks, months and years and here we find ourselves frustratingly on the edge. 2 stuffed full heavy baskets, piled with our rash decisions, set on the floor beside us as we try to muster the strength to keep going. If something falls out of the basket or we now realize we need to go back to aisle one because we forgot something our misery, anger and frustration are primed and ready to spill over. We really do not have any more room to pick up anything else whether we need it or not and God forbid somebody ask’s you to pile one more thing on top of your overflowing basket.

Perhaps you needed this analogy today – maybe you rushed into this season and you suddenly find yourself lugging around more than you can carry. Maybe you just need to slow down and take stock. Maybe you need to put the baskets down and go and make the extra effort to get a cart, be more deliberate and not sign up for the “too busy” to make any other type of decision option?  Maybe you need to ask for help? Ask for a loaner? Decide to put some unneeded stuff back? We can either get through the aisles of life miserably, cursing under our breathe, with very little capacity to take on anything more than what we are carrying now OR we can slow down, take stock of our options and find ways to bare the load differently instead of just making do?

The decision is ours continue to miserably roam the aisles OR take a moment, set aside the hurry to make some deliberate decisions how we are going to carry the load in this next chapter.

Maybe it does not have to be ALL or NOTHING?

all or nothing

The problem with All or Nothing. 

Your either ON or OFF. Your either IN or OUT. It’s either ALL or NOTHING. First of all let’s stop assigning ourselves permanent labels.  Sometimes our hold up is our willingness to categorize ourselves into a “type of person.”

“I am just an all or nothing type of person” you say.

But maybe you have just learned a pattern of behaviour that has you stepping back and forth between that made up line? One week you are all in and the next week you are all out.

Maybe we just need to throw off the idea that we are pigeon holed into a personality trait. Maybe we just need to learn to be flexible and forgiving of our mishaps – to not let this false idea of perfection sabotage us.  Maybe we need to acknowledge our humanness and learn how to fall short but not let it define us or keep us down. Maybe we just need to learn how to get up quicker, be more graceful and joyful in our plans. Yes we may get “there” a little slower but when we do we will stay there. If it feels like work most of us can’t will ourselves enough to sustain the effort. So maybe we need to find JOY in the effort, fall in love with the process and maybe that means we have to learn to live less regimented and accept there are days and hours we will fall short of the plan we laid out.

So take a look at your plan. Have you made room for mishaps? Is there margin and space for learning ? What about JOY ? Have you left space to enjoy the journey? And pressure how much pressure have you applied to getting it perfect? Take a deep breathe. I know the greatest gift I have received from my faith is forgiveness and I need to learn to walk in it new each morning – when I do the burden is lighter – the gratitude is stronger and my steps are more purposeful. It does not have to be ALL or NOTHING – because that will always leave you with one or the other. Maybe we need to learn how to live somewhere in the middle. Where we easily without shame can be ALL one minute and completely fine with “nothing” the next. It does not have to mean IN or OUT. May you find some JOY in the process today.