Maybe it does not have to be ALL or NOTHING?

all or nothing

The problem with All or Nothing. 

Your either ON or OFF. Your either IN or OUT. It’s either ALL or NOTHING. First of all let’s stop assigning ourselves permanent labels.  Sometimes our hold up is our willingness to categorize ourselves into a “type of person.”

“I am just an all or nothing type of person” you say.

But maybe you have just learned a pattern of behaviour that has you stepping back and forth between that made up line? One week you are all in and the next week you are all out.

Maybe we just need to throw off the idea that we are pigeon holed into a personality trait. Maybe we just need to learn to be flexible and forgiving of our mishaps – to not let this false idea of perfection sabotage us.  Maybe we need to acknowledge our humanness and learn how to fall short but not let it define us or keep us down. Maybe we just need to learn how to get up quicker, be more graceful and joyful in our plans. Yes we may get “there” a little slower but when we do we will stay there. If it feels like work most of us can’t will ourselves enough to sustain the effort. So maybe we need to find JOY in the effort, fall in love with the process and maybe that means we have to learn to live less regimented and accept there are days and hours we will fall short of the plan we laid out.

So take a look at your plan. Have you made room for mishaps? Is there margin and space for learning ? What about JOY ? Have you left space to enjoy the journey? And pressure how much pressure have you applied to getting it perfect? Take a deep breathe. I know the greatest gift I have received from my faith is forgiveness and I need to learn to walk in it new each morning – when I do the burden is lighter – the gratitude is stronger and my steps are more purposeful. It does not have to be ALL or NOTHING – because that will always leave you with one or the other. Maybe we need to learn how to live somewhere in the middle. Where we easily without shame can be ALL one minute and completely fine with “nothing” the next. It does not have to mean IN or OUT. May you find some JOY in the process today.

There Is No Shame In The Struggle

There is no SHAME in the STRUGGLE

Often times SHAME can trap us in our struggle. SHAME is a powerful, painful and heavy burden to be pinned under.

As we navigate this uncertain, turbulent, opinionated and anxious time we are either very consciously aware of how much it is rocking us or getting a glimpse of moments where we recognize the underlying shaking of the foundations we have built our present selves and certainties on.

With our HUSTLE driven culture it is easy to get trapped into owning SHAME. SHAME because you are struggling. There is even shame in admitting to the struggle.

Our culture worships at the alter of grit and perseverance.

We apparently will sleep when we are dead.

We know stuff.

We know with every obstacle comes opportunity.

That we can choose to grow, get ahead, or give in and fall behind.

That the biggest thing standing in the way is ourselves.


All great, well meaning and required attitudes to grow and conquer.

But you can’t get ahead or get anywhere when you are shackled to shame over the fact that you have your doubts, you struggle, you fall short, don’t always make the cut and can’t always stay focused on the bright side. Frustration, anger and shame can easily become our closest companions when we reach the end of ourselves.

I DO NOT believe we have endless capacity.

We have a cap.

We will and do wear thin.

We fall flat, come up short.

Reaching the end of our limited capacity sucks. But it brings us face to face with our humanity. It can be a blessing and answer to prayer.

One gift my faith has taught me is SHAME is not of God. Shame has a way of pinning you down, trapping you, suffocating you and the more you let it pile up sometimes the harder it is to find the strength to be freed from in. You either live an exhausting life trying to out due, outwit or one up  shame OR exhaustion comes from camping out under the weight of shame for far too long. The cornerstone of my faith is the light that comes and makes the darkness of SHAME flee.

It is GRACE.

Freely given forgiveness, not earned or worked for but offered by and given as a gift that anyone anywhere is free to receive. (See Romans 3:24)

We are human.

Lack of control and uncertainty is hard and sometimes we heavily lean on unhealthy devices to mitigate our inability to fully cope. Don’t be fooled nobody is navigating this properly or perfectly, nobody on this side of heaven has all the answers. It is OK to struggle. There is no SHAME in the struggle.


My last blog I talked about the blessing of resting in the act of relinquishing the illusion of control. That we really only have control over one thing, ourselves and how we hold space or conduct ourselves in daily uncertainty.…


These past few weeks we have become forcibly aware of our inability to control the world around us. The palpable results are an underlying sense of fear and anxiety. But let’s take a moment to recognize the opportunties often only…


MUSICI am so thankful for music and what it does to the mind and in turn the body.  It has a way of firing us up and turning our attitudes around.  With some mighty goals set for my year ahead I know getting my head right (especially on the days that I do not feel like it) is paramount to accomplishing a goal.  I love the Jim Rohn quote

“For things to change you have to change. For things to get better you have to get better.”

Moving to a NEW point requires us to re-write and wire the anthem we play about ourselves in our head daily.  That is going to take some work, some repetition. Having a plan is not good enough (it is important) but it is not enough.  Accomplishment is reserved for those who execute the well thought out plan.  The plan may change as you go because through execution you gain wisdom and insight but no amount of thinking about it will provide the same results as DOING it!!!

When I do not feel like it I default to prayer, worship music, and high energy tunes with lyrics that reinforce the right mindset.  I may even get crazy and jump up and down and shout out loud and then use that Mel Robbins 5 second rule and count down from 5 and execute.

5…4….3…2…1… do it…get to work.

My current get your assets moving tunes to help reenforce the anthem I am declaring over the next year can be found below.

Run Run – The Rivals 

Make Way – Aloe Blacc (ego aside on this one – I want to make an IMPACT – leave a legacy)

High Hopes – Panic! At the Disco

Multiplied – NEED TO BREATH

Could Have Been Me – The Struts 

Get Your Hopes Up – Josh Baldwin

You Can’t Stop Me – Andy Mineo

What tunes are fuelling your anthem over the coming year???