Mental Fitness

You Have Weighty Issues Too

rachel biggest loser

You may have heard the controversy over the Biggest Loser Finale this week. The beautiful and tenacious Rachel who weighed close to 300 pounds lost nearly 60% of her body weight in 5 and a half months, weighing in at 105 pounds to win the shows cash prize. Even the trainer’s jaws dropped upon first seeing her extreme weight loss. It was not long  before the social media “I don’t know you, but I will personal assault you with a vicious tweet” #trending began. I honestly watched the finale with a broken heart.

Why?

“Culture baits us to the edge of moral disaster than chastises us when we cross certain lines.” (Andy Stanley)

The “overweight” Rachel said she felt hopeless, out of control, unworthy, a failure.  The truth is that is how society viewed her as well.  Rachel’s coping mechanism is food, which unfortunately results in her literally wearing the weight of the world on her body.

Your coping mechanism may not be food and it may or may not be as visible as obesity is; But you do have your go to unhealthy comfort.  Is it drowning yourself in social media, alcohol, excessive exercise, gambling, gossip, TV, sex, I can keep going and I will eventually hit something you struggle maintaining a healthy relationship with.

So here is Rachel,

on public display,

deciding she is done,

fed up,

and ready to get uncomfortable and do something about her unhealthy addiction.

 

Our culture is sales driven and the show Biggest Loser is made possible because it is entertaining enough to attract an audience advertisers are willing to “pay for”. Stuck in the middle is a LIFE, Rachel’s and the other contestants lives.

When Rachel was struggling with obesity she may have heard,

“Oh wow, you have really let yourself go”  OR

“Rachel you were so healthy and beautiful, what happened?”

The weight of the comments would be overbearing and just perpetuate her already severely damaging self-talk.

When Rachel stood up and started to do something about it, we are on her side, cheering her on, encouraging her.

“You go girl, you are looking awesome!”

“You are an inspiration!”

“I can’t believe what progress you have made.”

Then Rachel finds herself at the finale; where it is obvious she gave it her all. During her Biggest Loser journey she had mustered up an “envious” amount of strength to do something about the pit she was in. Only to wake up in the same pit she found herself in 155 lbs ago!!

All over twitter you could find quotes like these:

#BLFinale becomes literally “The Hunger Games” with Rachel starving herself for 250K.

“LOL, you are soooo gross.” -Thin Rachel #BiggestLoser #holograms

Now I want to be clear. YES, as a fitness professional I agree Rachel lost too much weight, too quickly. But just like us she will struggle with her weakness for the rest of her life. This was not the END of the story it was just a tiny part of her life we saw on TV.

As I watched the finale, my jaw dropped when she walk on stage and my heart sank with it.  I knew what was coming. I knew it would be all over the news, social media and the morning radio talk shows.  I knew that even though each and every one of us has an unhealthy relationship with something OR someone we would be quick to chastise someone who was doing their best to overcome their worst. The pressure of our culture told her she needed to change, then we cheered her on when she decided to give it her all, and then chastised her when we saw her “failure” win on TV for 5 minutes that night.

Now can I ask you to bring to mind the unhealthy relationships you are struggling with?

What do you need from me?

May I guess you need my unconditional love, you need me to believe in you, listen to you, get to know you. Most of all you need me to offer you the SAME space and grace I need.  Space to LEARN how to flip the switch from “unhealthy” to “healthy”  and GRACE to do it as many times as it takes.

As a Christian I am called to LOVE unconditionally. I am not able to pass judgement because I am not FREE of my “issues” ever, no matter how perfect or on top of things it may seem.  The only words I should ever offer someone is kind words because I know if the self- talk that is in my head is in their head too that battle is already a difficult one.

Who do you need to extend GRACE and SPACE too? Or perhaps you need to believe you are worthy of receiving it.

Please keep going,

don’t give up

and remember to extended space and grace to the people around you.

Extended to people whether they are people you are close to and have a personal relationship with or someone you got to know a tiny bit once upon a time on a TV show.

“Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24 

Interested in being part of the supportive community I have started on facebook? Pop by my “Ira McNamara” facebook page and let’s connect.

Slipped Up On Your Resolution Already? Why You Can’t Start Over

comfort zones

As much as you don’t like your old habits or what they produce, they are what you know and what you are comfortable with, getting rid of them is going to be uncomfortable.  Prepare yourself to push through the uncomfortable.

There is comfort in familiarity and lets be honest we like to be comfortable.  Being UNcomfortable is, well, UNcomfortable. Our disposition for familiarity is no secret either. Case in point; big box stores go to great lengths to create familiar environments.

Have you ever visited a Starbucks 5000 miles from your home that makes you feel like you never left home?

We crave the same old, same old. On the other end of the spectrum we yearn for something new.  So somewhere in the middle we desperately flounder to either IGNORE our dream or make failed attempt after failed attempt to go for it. This struggle is much more present during the NEW YEAR as we look back at what might have been and with renewed vigor set our sights higher this year.

Years ago I read a book by Bruce Wilkinson called the Dream Giver it’s a modern day parable about a man named Ordinary that lives in a place called familiar.

“For the most part, not much happened in Familiar that hadn’t happened before. Ordinary thought he was content. He found the routines reliable. He blended in with the crowd. And mostly, he wanted only what he had. Until the day Ordinary noticed a small, nagging feeling that something big was missing from his life. Or maybe the feeling was that he was missing from something big. He wasn’t sure. The little feeling grew.  And even though Nobodies in Familiar didn’t generally expect the unexpected, Ordinary began to wish for it.”

The New Year has a unique way of poking at those nagging feelings doesn’t it?

Can I ask you to trust that little nagging feeling was placed inside of you?  

Can I beg you to go get it?

Here is the truth.

The pursuit of any dream worth pursuing is not going to be easy. If I were a statistic kind of guy I would tell you right here how many people fail to use their newly purchased gym memberships a month after they purchase them.  Lucky for you I am not a statistic kind of guy. You might call me a statistic HATER!

Why? Because in that simplified sometimes skewed number is a sense that you might as well give up before you start. You feel like you already know which side of the statistic you fall on. Let’s face it you’re a victim to those numbers and you are never going to change  it.

…….WRONG! Picture me jumping up and down right now telling you “STOP, just STOP it, STOP believing these numbers have any POWER over you!

Guess what? Your comforts are literally killing you.  As much as you hate them they are going to BE HARD to get away from. You are going to want to give up, and curl right back up in those familiar habits. You need to acknowledge the journey is going to be hard. You need to prepare yourself to stay in uncomfortable for as long as it takes.

You are powerful and need to POWER up and BUILD up your RESOLVE to be uncomfortable long enough to conquer or perhaps take back some territory and expand those comfort zones. WHY?  There is much more to life on the other side of comfort.

I want you to really understand this. You are normal when not even a day into your new journey you suddenly find yourself sitting on the couch with a tub of ice cream proclaiming “what am I doing?” as you hastily throw another spoonful in. It’s easy to fall back into familiar.

How about every time you slip up you commit to getting back up, rather than feeling like you have to start over?  There is a difference.

When you are always “starting over “ it means you have  an expectation that venturing out of your comfort zone was going  to be as easy as flicking a switch.  Well it is not that easy, it takes time, it requires grace, it requires learning, it requires you to get back up and keep going.

Be faithful in the small things my friend! Over time the small ADDS up to BIG VICTORY in your life. You just got to keep getting back up. Will your spirit and ask God to make you strong and courageous as you step back into uncomfortable.  You are ready to rise above what keeps knocking you down.  You got this!